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mashed in maryland 4:49 Mon Oct 31
Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Bored Monday thread.
Anyone ever come across this?
Bloke in my office just got a call from someone who asked if I was here and said he'd "been speaking" to me this morning about something, which was completely irrelevant to what he'd rung the other bloke about. I'd not spoken to the cunt on the phone in weeks. Cannot for the life of me figure out why he'd make that up.
Bloke I used to knock about with used to tell everyone and I mean everyone that he had a tattoo on his chap, I'm assuming cos he suspected no one would ever ask to see proof. Until a bird of his was in our company and I asked her about it and she was like "eh??", and he then said he'd only ever been joking.
Also some other bloke I met on holiday told me he was best mates with Michael Carrick and had known him since school, later found out he had a bit of a knack for bullshitting and other stories which got relayed were being in the Paras and Marines and a former pro boxer etc. No fucking idea why out of everyone in the world he thought he'd lie about knowing Michael Carrick though.
Oh and the relation to West Ham is that this is ample opportunity for Johnson etc. to rant about lies that BERKS INC etc have told re the OS.
Discuss.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Mike Oxsaw
9:11 Sat Nov 5
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Yeah. Link to the naughty step daughter.
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joe royal
7:56 Sat Nov 5
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Link to step daughter ?
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Chip Shop Charlie
2:37 Sat Nov 5
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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55,000 on the waiting list.
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Scraper
1:43 Sat Nov 5
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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"were either shocked or laughed depending on their intelligence"
Which is which?
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Billy Blagg
12:25 Sat Nov 5
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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My step-daughter - 15 at the time - told me a kid in her class had been sadly killed in a hit and run accident and the head teacher held a special assembly and played this kid's favourite record. As the assembly fell silent amidst crying and sobbing, Chumbawumba's 'I get knocked down but I get up again' started up. This would have been such a stupid and crass thing for the Head to do, I wouldn't have believed it even if I hadn't heard the 'joke' already about two weeks previously.
I tackled her about lying but she just insisted it had happened. Worse, she then told this lie to other family members who were either shocked or laughed depending on their intelligence. No-one queried with her if it was true or not.
I should have seen the warning signs really but I learned in latter years that this was just a regular thing with her. It wasn't just the lying, it was the odd thing that she actually believed herself after a while and wild speculation and suspicions became actual fact In her head. It got so bad I realised I could never believe a word she said. It continues still.
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Far Cough
4:41 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Swiss. 3:03 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
I remember a group of us discussing the worst jobs were'd had.
Were Derek and Clive there?
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BRANDED
4:39 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Some xenophobe told me he was voting exit cos it was undemocratic.
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Swiss.
3:03 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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I remember a group of us discussing the worst jobs were'd had.
This guy said he worked in a crisp factory. First day he was introduce to the veteran of 25 years there. He instructed my mate to push this button by this vat and pull this lever and when the light flashed to repeat this procedure. After a few hours the supervisor came over and said
"Good work son,You've done this before haven't you"
Cracked me up anyway
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mashed in maryland
2:49 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Can we please limit the crybaby lefty/Remainiac rants (and reactions to them; ignore them and they'll go away) to the at least half dozen other political threads on the front page please? Thanks.
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Eggbert Nobacon
2:42 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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*yet
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Eggbert Nobacon
2:42 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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we haven't exited yes
That's less lie and more total ingnorance
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HairyHammer
2:40 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Brexit told me We are all gonna get our country back well Brexit won and fuck all has changed apart from GB being an economic joke and the pound crashing .
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bish bash bosh
2:08 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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used to work with a girl who claimed she was going out with Russell crowes bodyguard...she told us that she went to premieres, went on holidays to Australia...although we never saw photo evidence. she left the company and our office got a call from an agency a year later for a reference and she was living in Grays off all places
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ooooh Morley Morley
1:45 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Some bloke reckoned he stormed a gate and punched his way past a load of stewards to get into the Man United last game at home.
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mashed in maryland
1:17 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Think you meant to address ohgodno there haha. Impressive stuff though.
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Aalborg Hammer
12:56 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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mashed:My brother has worked for a Vauxhall parts department since 1983..he can recite part numbers better than any computer - sad really
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pulhampete
12:50 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Bloke I used to work with handed his notice in and told everyone that he was leaving to join a company that looked after the maintenance of large shopping centres - he told us about the huge budgets, big work force etc. etc. plus all the benefits and salary that went with the job.
Two days later there was a picture of him and his wife in the local paper standing in front of a pub that they were going to run. Fucking weird.
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Mike Oxsaw
12:28 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Days of the week now come in a variety of colors - except Sunday, which is super.
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ohgodno
12:06 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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mashed in maryland 1:37 Tue Nov 1
I can instantly tell if someone has been in the army by the way they recite their national insurance number.
If anyone has a more specific skill than that I'd be amazed.
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Northern Sold
11:34 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Bloke at work said that he played semi pro football at the age of 15 for a team in Rochford... said he got £50 per week....
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Aalborg Hammer
11:32 Wed Nov 2
Re: Strange, random, pointless lies that people tell/have told you
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Before the arrival of the internet ,I wound a bloke at work up by telling him that Graham Hill and Jimmy Hill were brothers...given their similar chins and facial hair,it went a long way
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